The power of animations

During the 

May 12th

    Words cannot express how excited I am for May 12th to come. I have been waiting for years! The official release of the sequel to Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild, Legend of Zelda: Tears of The Kingdom! When it was announced back in, perhaps, 2018 or 2019, I couldn't contain my excitement. I have such an emotional bond with the first game because of not only how much I played through it while I was in the Navy, but it became one of my "healthier" forms of escape while I was going through those dark times in my life. 

    The timing of the sequel's release is completely paramount to everything that is going on in my life right now. Will I use the sequel as another "healthy" escape from my own reality? Absolutely. Does it help that the release falls on a Saturday and school will be over by then? Absolutely. Needless to say, I cannot wait to explore the many changes that are coming our way, and the addition to this beautiful storyline. 

    One thing I have noticed on a complete side note, is my fascination to play as the hero. I've shared many anecdotes with my therapist, and it seems that I have the hero's complex. Having been faced with many dark times, I have come to the realization that I've developed a complicated hero's complex. Where instead of striving to be "problem solver" to any given problem for someone else, let's add another layer to that, I do it in order to avoid my own problems. My own form of escape from my own reality by diving into the reality of others. Has this been fruitful? Yeah. I've helped lots of people along my journey's path. But my own fruit has grown to be bad, rotting almost, because of the neglect I have given it. Time to be the bad guy, I guess. Anyone else excited for this release?

Fun with formulas...

    Can I just say that writing formulas in Microsoft Excel feels like I am writing code. Anyone else agree to that? The plethora of functions that are available to a person in Excel are mind-blowing, not to mention that specific ways that they have to be written. I am however, very grateful for having been taught how to properly use these formulas in this chapter. 

Ain't no rest for the wicked

    Do I plan on resting, living up the spring break dream of getting blacked out drunk and partying all day? No. I got that phase of my life out of me when I was in the Navy. The only thing I plan to do is continue to go to work, take care of my homework, and be a dad/husband. The constants in my life; however, I do plan on reading in my spare time! I haven't read in a very long time. I remember how I would read several books a year when I was in High School or even in the Navy, and I've lost touch in that side of me. My therapist recommended me to read a book, and a lot of my reading has been based on suggestions. She recommended to read Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown. 

    This suggestion was brought about on my difficulty to manage my emotions. One of the things that stuck with me in my last therapy session was understanding that it is difficult to manage your emotions if you don't know what emotions they are. So here I am, diving head first into this book expecting multiple emotional slaps to the face.

"Believe in the me who believes in you."

    Ever since I was either four or five I have watched Anime. It started with either Dragon Ball Z, Pokémon or Yu-gi-oh. Many of the themes from these shows have followed me throughout my life, but one above all has helped, and guided me in times of uncertainty.

    Whether it's a decision we make at work, with our families, or at school, we all face moments throughout our daily lives where we might doubt ourselves. So what do I do when it's my turn to go through a moment of uncertainty? Maybe it's because of my therapy sessions, but I channel my inner child (Little Diegito) and he tells me the following: "Don't believe in yourself. Believe in me, who believes in you."

    I haven't taken the MO-100 exam yet. I plan to after today's class 03/11/2023. I'm not going to lie, I have struggled with this class, and 98% of that has been because of my poor time management skills, but I know that I have my own personal cheerleader that is there who I can "look" at to push forward and persevere. Not just while I take this exam, but in whatever context I might need little Diegito's reassurance.

The wonders of knowing how to format your illustrations

    I can count the times that I have inserted illustrations in any Word document I have ever created. Maybe 3? Maybe 5? I have never had the need for it; however I'm sure the times that I did were wrong or improperly formatted. What I loved about this lesson was having a better understanding of how to actually insert images, look up online images, as well as how to format them accordingly with the text. After having practiced on LabSim, what few documents I have created just for fun have begun to start looking more professional. Never did I imagine the depth of how much formatting goes into inserting an image or picture into a Word document.  

The difference

    Man was I fooled. Again, not something I really looked into, but it was mind blowing knowing that there is a difference between the desktop and web applications of Word for example. Although it is understandable why, I always assumed that they both had the same amount of features. Aside from one needing internet connection, it's important to know that the web application version would require less from the computer's hardware than the installed version. 

Being able to share

    This lesson blew my mind away because I always wondered how any form of business can share multiple printers throughout different offices. I think this is really important because I can see why it would be important to give certain people within the workforce access to specific printers throughout the office for whatever reasons. Maybe there are only two printers but Bill and Sally have problems with each other, then their IT department can have them get whatever files from the opposite printers. Believe it or not, most people in my own office did not know that they could do that, yes I asked around. 

Didn't know what buffering actually meant

    One of the things that really caught my attention when we were going over this chapter was what buffering actually means. My lack of knowledge, and lack of inquiry would cause me to assume that buffering meant the same as lagging. Now I know that when a video has the "wheel of death" and is buffering, whatever server the information is coming from is temporarily storing the files data on our device of choice. Knowing your terminology is imperative to having a deeper understanding in this world. 

Follow the white rabbit

    Anonymity in the Digital Age. 

    At the core of our human souls, hearts, and minds lies in the ancestral instinct that drives us to move forward towards survival. Fear. This beautifully dangerous emotion has always been the "gasoline" to fuel our "engines" in order to move in the direction that is required of our lives during specific moments in our lives. Although many times it is for survival, fear also arises within us for the unknown. 

The abysmal vastness that is Space. 

The mysterious unknown of our Oceans. 

The questionable looking Tupper-ware in the back of fridge that you don't remember putting there. 

    These are all valid reasons for fear to manifest itself within us, but what about the unknown origins of communicators that hid behind anonymity in the World Wide Web? Should we fear who we do not know? Or, should we instead focus our fear on the message that is being given? Take my hand, lets follow the White Rabbit.

    This has been a topic that I have been wanting to dive into for a while now. Although we have had mediums of communication for over several hundred years now, presented in the form of either pamphlets, articles, books, journals, letters, radio, telephones, television which has all evolved in one way or another, the internet has become the alpha of the pack. Anonymity was not necessarily a concept that was thought about although it was still present. It was until the conception of the World Wide Web that the use of it has now exploded much like the baby boomers in the mid twentieth century. 

 

   I cannot take credit for the ideas that others have presented to the world, but I can take credit in the way I have presented this to you. 

Objective v. Subjective. 

    

    How do you view the world? (With your eyes, I know). Let's take a moment to really think about this. Why is it that when ideas, messages, opinions, or facts are being presented to us by someone that we can A) see (what they physically look like, race, ethnicity, height, weight, etc.), or B) hear (their actual voice, tone they are using, how they pronounce their words, etc.), we as humans are defaulted into receiving whatever form of communication with our subjective lens'? Because we allow ourselves, our biases, to misconstrue the message that is being delivered. Vice versa, if we cannot see or hear them, then what our attention is being focused on is now on the message that is trying to be delivered. People are afraid of being shamed, judged, criticized, scrutinized, threatened, or even killed for sharing how they truly think for fear of what? Of how their message will be received by their audience. It is no wonder that groups like Anonymous exist, groups where they can deliver their messages clearly without any bias warping the message. 

    

    There is a major consensus on the negative connotation that Anonymity holds within society. This was only further exacerbated with anonymity in the digital age. According to the three different sources, anonymity in the internet is a topic that has been very controversial. Both the scholarly and primary demonstrate the difference in behavior when you compare and contrast anonymity in the digital age, and "real" communication. It was refreshing to see how in the anonymous world, we are diamonds, with our core being the same, but exposing different layers to our self depending on the context of the situation. Something that isn't demonstrated without anonymous behavior, otherwise we're more like mirrors, reflecting our own environment. The power of anonymity in the digital age was explained in the third source. It was refreshing to see the difference of opinion between the three different sources, but the ones that I picked piggy backed onto one with the other. 

    I leave you with this message taken from the last paragraph of the scholarly article I used as my primary source of inspiration. 

    "Although it is true that anonymity is often used with malicious intent, its value in communication should not be overlooked, as online anonymity strips communicators of prejudices such as gender, race and nationality, which allow for a completely new communication where ideas and arguments rely on themselves in order to have value, instead of the reputation of the speaker, and sincerity is relieved of the shackles normally imposed by face-to-face communication." (Corina Iane, 2011) 

Source 1: Anonymity on the internet and its psychological implications in communication by Corina Iane 2011 (scholarly article).

Source 2: Who is that? The Study of Anonymity and Behavior by Joe Dawson 2018 (psychologicalscience.org).

Source 3: What is Anonymous? How the infamous "hacktivist" group went from 4chan trolling to launching cyberattacks on Russia by Tom Huddleston Jr. Mar 25, 2022 (cnbc.com)

Giants or windmills?

    Do you have any idea how draining your life becomes once you start going to therapy? All these preconceived ideas that run rampant in our head, only for us to finally have a deeper understanding of where they come from. To those who are unfamiliar with Don Quixote by Miguel Cervantes, let me share this with you. In Chapter 8 of the book, our protagonist charges against windmills thinking that they are giants while his best friend Sancho Panza is trying to get him to realize the reality of the situation. It is not until Don Quixote is knocked off by the windmill that he comes to the realization that it was never a giant, but sorcery that had been placed on him making him believe that they were giants. 

     So what does all this mean to you? Well, I am sure that we have all faced our "giants" only to realize that they were windmills all along. We allow our intrusive thoughts to run rampant within our minds and we allow them to consume us with whatever emotion these thoughts conjure up within us. 

We become impulsive. 

We become irrational. 

We become blinded. 

We become a Don Quixote.

    I'm not going to try and paint myself as a Saint, I am much like Don Quixote if not worse; however, I am not redirecting the blame on "sorcery," I try to take accountability for the ways in which I allow my emotions to take control of me. I guess in some way, I did try and perform my own sorcery, a ritual. This in no way has dramatically changed me. Performing this ritual was not like flipping a light switch and all of a sudden I have become a better Man, Husband or Brother. It was more like a dimmer, and it's slowly moving in the "right" direction.

    Just in case the video is not viewable, I burned all of my journal entries from 2022, and rubbed the ashes against my hands. Why? Because I was trying to let go off all of my "giants." I had realized that they were nothing but windmills... nothing but windmills...

Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be

    New year, new beginning right? For the past 23 years, it's been such a cliché thing to do and see around me. Everyone wanting to start fresh and begin anew only to see them fall through the cracks months later. I've tried my hardest to not follow that mindset. It's been demoralizing seeing how people fall off track, and have difficulty putting themselves back on-track. 

    This year is different. It feels like I'm ready for an actual new beginning. It's like there was a veil that was covering my eyes, and it's been lifted. My sight is still blurry, but I'm starting to adjust to how this new world looks like.

    One day, things will be different. 

  So why Don Quixote? Not only is he the embodiment of a chivalrous knight, but the manifestation of change and the adaptability to it. His many adventures alongside his best friend are the many chapters of one's life. I'm ready to become a Don Quixote.